I thought about how I should start this… a lot. For months. I mean, how does one start a blog? Especially after playing around before on other sites? Do I follow the idea of other blog sites and do what other bloggers do? Or do I do my own thing?
What if I do my own thing? I would be able to create something original, different, and niche. But would it reach the people? Would I be helpful?
What if I made more like those that are already out there? Then I get the foot traffic I want. The views, the width of people, and the depth of traffic.
Then I think, I should do my own thing. I never liked being part of the crowd, except when I had to be. If I do my own thing, I can be me, and I will get the traffic when I’m ready.
Then my mind wanders. It gets stuck. What tasks do I have to do? Too many, I say. My brain begins to spin with thoughts. I am overwhelmed with my thoughts, and I am stopped again. We start at the top of the paragraph and go again.
Until, that is, today.
Today, I said that I would sit down and write, and write, and keep going until I post something worthy of the audience I will soon have. Let’s not talk about how Today is actually over a month, ok, maybe several, because I have been too anxious, too busy, or too reactive, or too… something. Something always seems to find a way to delay me from that which I call “The Dream.” You know, the one thing you are here for. The one thing that you are meant to do. The thing that makes hundreds, if not thousands wish they did something different with their life before they died when they are on their deathbed. It’s always something, and that is why I am so anxious, stressed, and depressed, at least in the area of my personal growth. So, today is the day that I just write this, with a little Grammarly correction as I go, and then post without a second edit or thought. If I don’t then I will lock myself into my perfectionistic ways and I’ll be editing and writing and editing and writing and hoping that someone, one day, somewhere, will read this and find that the content that will eventually come will be helpful.
So if you are here looking for a new spot, something to read, inspire you, teach you, guide you, entertain you, act as your muse for something else, or just morbid curiosity for some random human on the internet because your Google search said, “This might be worth your time,” then I thank you for your time, and hope you are going to love this like a Men’s Wearhouse commercial makes people love the way they look. I wanted this to be where I could go to share whatever was on my mind that day. Sometimes, I’ll be structured and have a purpose, others, I’ll let the Anxiety decide. That is the core of how Kadu will consider.
There is more to this though than me just trying to achieve something that I otherwise would never thought I would have the guts to do. New beginnings also mean the recreation of something that once was. Approaching myself in the mirror that is my consciousness and looking back at who I once was, and what I once did. Like Matt Smith’s version of Doctor Who, and even a little bit of Peter Capaldi’s I have to look back at who I once was to prepare for who I want to be. One has to do this every so often if one wants to continue to improve or manage their growth. As Matt Smith’s Doctor said, “We all change, when you think about it, we’re all different people; all through our lives, and that’s okay, that’s good, you’ve got to keep moving, so long as you remember all the people that you used to be.” Once you forget who you used to be, you will become someone that you may not want to be. I know for me, the most important thing is to remember just that, because of the danger of becoming a keyboard warrior, a “Karen,” a “Kevin” (a male version of a Karen), or something else too sensationalized that they lose sight of who they are.
Too sensationalized… I wonder. Is that what it looks like when a society goes into an anxious state? I might need to put a pin in this for later.
So I come back to writing this inaugural blog. The closer I get to the end of finishing it, the better I feel. Perhaps there is something that I can do with this. Perhaps others will see this, and share this with their friends and family. Perhaps I can write content that people might find useful. So I will continue. I will keep making new content, with the hope to help, teach, learn, and grow. So I shall keep going.
